partybarackisinthehousetonight:

never let your printer know that you waited until the last minute to print something and you’re in a hurry. they can sense fear

mikalhvi:

gentlemanbones:

"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—
…Oh.”

is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti

mikalhvi:

gentlemanbones:

"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—

…Oh.”

is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti

(Source: bent-duck)

So what? You failed your finals. You gained some weight. So what? You’re single again. You lost your job. So what? What now? You live. You try again. That’s what.

(Source: marlboro-kisses)

jlayton4:

I would of shit my pants

(Source: lolgifs.net)

(Source: everblessedpumpum)

y-a-n-d-e-r-e:

drawing in class is such a religious experience

y-a-n-d-e-r-e:

drawing in class is such a religious experience

romeyooo:

adorkablenerdvana:

sometimes i think that i am not so stereotypical of an american

and then i remember that i consider the coke freestyle machine one of the greatest modern inventions

i mean look at this thing

image

it’s beautiful

over 100 choices, computerized mixing, one spout, touch screen, ice dispenser

image

like wow

have u ever seen anything so wondrous and beautiful??

stability:

I love huskies so much [Via]

calibornsmainsqueeze:

trans people taking testosterone need to drink orange juice cause testosterone weakens your immune system!! trans people taking estrogen need to drink milk cause estrogen causes calcium to be absorbed less

8oo:

nonbinary robots are cool and all but imagine a robot designed to be genderless and it sees a girl and is like “wtf girls are cute im a girl now” and the scientists are like u cant do this thing but she is already out the door 

meladoodle:

Its ok if you dont laugh at my jokes cause ill laugh enough for the both of us

(Source: meladoodle)

swarnpert:

just drink an entire bowl of butter. drink the fucking butter you piece of shit. fuck you

swarnpert:

just drink an entire bowl of butter. drink the fucking butter you piece of shit. fuck you

chilicurry:

fatalcookies:

msrooneymara:

jeuxdeau:

This is why there’s a shield between them on the Australian coat of arms.

 #meanwhile in australia

WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING WITH THAT EMU

I love how the other one is like “oh not again, Steve, come on. Let’s be rational. No, Steve, no— sigh there he goes.”

(Source: boringcorpse)

4rianagrande:

i hope u find someone that mindlessly plays with your hands and lightly strokes your legs and massages your back and plays with your hair and i hope that u feel like you’re home when u look at them